St. Johns, MIB3

The shows I did in St. John’s this weekend were great, James Van Der Beek is back on TV and everything is great in party town, which is what I call my head.

I’m hosting the next weekend of shows in St. John’s so now is the weird part of the tour where I have to stay outside of town until Thursday. The Yuk Yuks condo is on the outskirts of St. John’s by a bunch of mini malls a 10 minute drive from the city.

Since you need a car to entertain yourself and I don’t have one I may be going slowly insane over the span of the week. The last time I was here over a two week period,  by the second day alone in the house I hadn’t had a conversation with a real life human in as many days and found myself watching Taxi Driver and doing pushups. Separately those activities are great but together they paint a terrible picture.

So what should I do to combat me going insane again? I don’t know! But as long as I don’t drink all the beer I have left and start yelling at the children in this suburb I’ll be okay. The key to going insane on tour I’ve learned is to keep it contained to twitter and not display it to the normal people who pay taxes. Or at least not harass their children.

I actually like being alone, just not for days on end without going outside. I am allowed to go outside but without a reason I just won’t do it because that wasn’t the way I was raised.

The time I went outside last week was I saw 21 jump street. I was alone, and that doesn’t bother me which might be concerning in and of itself, but there was one point during the previews during the trailer for Men In Black 3 it turned out that Tommy Lee Jones’s character had been dead for 40 years. Meaning that the first two movies never happened I guess? I’ll stop getting meta about the MIBs and straight up tell you that I found that really funny and laughed really hard but nobody else did that at all.

People stared at me, most of them were attractive and their early 20s, I’m in my mid 20s but people think I’m 30. So now I’m the old guy who goes to movies alone and laughs at weird stuff. I could actually see the lady next to me turn her body completely towards her boyfriend. Then part of me wanted to turn to her and laugh the same way I did seconds earlier and say “You think that will save you?”.

I didn’t because realistically her boyfriend would’ve beaten me up or at least told me to not do that. Both of those things I fear equally for some reason, plus the fact that I shouldn’t do that because it’s really weird. So I ended up taking the sandwich I packed for myself out of my pocket, taking out my penis and having a great time.

Okay I’m gonna go now if you read this thanks and hopefully I don’t go insane soon. I still have DVDs for sale and you can totally buy them, I’m really okay with that.

You guys are the best!

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